PRISON BLUES- A Uninformed Citizen Makes a Good Prisoner

EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR:
365 REASONS WHY FREEDOM IS BETTER

By Valerie Shaw, M.PR

Every time I refuse a "collect" phone call from someone in prison, every time I get "prison mail" and every time I see one of those black and white L.A. County Sheriff's bus, packed with shadowy heads behind the blacked-out windows, I want to kiss God for letting me live free.

Now that the U.S. prison population tops 1.5 million in California alone and over 6 million Americans are under some sort of correctional supervision, I figure that there are at least 10 million folks who can appreciate what I'm sayin' here. Besides life itself, freedom is our most precious gift.

So, if you're not fully in touch with your freedom or you are feeling desperate enough to think about doing crime, maybe you better suck in a deep breath of fresh air and remember every day of 2005-all 365 of them-why freedom is better.

WHEN YOU ARE FREE, YOU CAN…
1. Use the microwave
2. Flip the remote
3. Take a moonlight stroll
4. Go for a walk after dinner
5. Go to brunch
6. Help a friend to move
7. Close your door
8. Have a door to close
9. Use a fingernail file
10. Use fingernail polish
11. Go on a picnic
12. Order take out
13. Go for fast foods
14. Travel for pleasure
15. Use a computer
16. Go for a drive
17. Raid the refrigerator
18. Hold money
19. Drive a car
20. Smell the flowers
21. Get second helpings
22. Go to a restaurant
23. Be the first to open the mail
24. Take a bubble bath
25. Take a bath
26. Walk to the post office
27. Become rich and famous
28. Go to the Laundromat
29. Shop in a store
30. Look in the medicine cabinet
31. Buy furniture
32. Move your furniture around
33. Open a checking account
34. Open a can with an electric opener
35. Sew on a button
36. Dress up
37. Sleep late
38. Take a vacation
39. Cook on a stove
40. Eat steak
41. Hold private health insurance
42. Roll the windows up
43. Turn up the heat
44. Turn on the air conditioner
45. Drink a glass of water
46. Mail a letter
47. Lay on your back and count the stars
48. Roll in the grass
49. Send Western Union
50. Talk on a cell phone
51. Order pay-for-view
52. Buy gasoline
53. Go to the bank
54. Wear a baseball cap
55. Wear a shirt and tie
56. Go skiing
57. Go swimming
58. Own a hammer
59. Own a screwdriver
60. Own nails/screws
61. Look at satellite TV
62. Own/care for a dog
63. Own/care for a cat
64. Own/care for tropical fish
65. Use a knife to cut food
66. Climb a tree
67. Ride on a boat
68. Go fishing
69. Climb a mountain
70. Go hiking
71. Kiss someone dear when you want to
72. Knit or crochet
73. Use a magnifying glass
74. Go to McDonald's
75. Open a business
76. Go to any movie
77. Read any newspaper
78. Read any book
79. Go to a party
80. Go to a New Year's Eve party
81. Go to a garage sale
82. Hold a garage sale
83. Use a bottle opener
84. March in a parade
85. March in a protest
86. Visit grandma
87. Have patio dining
88. Eat on real plates
89. Take a night class
90. Not ask permission
91. Listen to the car radio
92. Pay taxes
93. Turn off the lights
94. Send an editorial
95. Call a news reporter
96. Call a TV station
97. Relax in a Jacuzzi
98. Pick flowers
99. Have houseplants
100. Order wine with dinner
101. Look in the closet
102. Look at murder mysteries on TV
103. Scratch your head with a metal-toothed comb
104. Sleep on colored/textured sheets
105. Sleep with two pillows
106. Stay warm
107. Look in a mirror
108. Wear any hairstyle
109. Wear hair ornaments
110. Stop for a traffic signal
111. Take the freeway or surface streets
112. Wear jewelry
113. Play the radio as loud as you like
114. Stop and rest on the stairs
115. Go fishing
116. Own a fishing pole
117. Own a bowling ball
118. Collect art
119. Collect cd's
120. Show your driver's license
121. Get a Sears family portrait
122. Go up in an attic
123. Take new photos
124. Smoke a cigar
125. Shop for groceries
126. Look at Court TV
127. Hold a passport
128. Wear dress shoes
129. Keep a private diary
130. Buy curtains
131. Buy toilet paper
132. Shop at the 99 Cents Only store
133. Go to a museum
134. Take a cab
135. Follow a fire truck
136. Go to a wedding
137. Make a bank deposit
138. Make a bank withdrawal
139. Go to the doctor when you have to
140. Visit the dentist when you need/want to
141. Visit a sick friend in the hospital
142. Go to a pro ball game
143. Order off a menu
144. Sleep over a friend's house
145. Buy a Christmas tree
146. Go to a concert, play or a nightclub
147. Use the toilet in private
148. Run upstairs
149. Go camping
150. Enjoy quiet
151. Go on a date
152. Use a credit card
153. Get a loan
154. Present a resume to get a job
155. Buy a house
156. Buy a horse
157. Buy a car
158. Buy a bicycle or motorcycle
159. Buy a bicycle pump
160. Own a piano
161. Take violin lessons
162. Take a vacation
163. Rap in a studio
164. Join a protest group
165. Join a theatre group
166. Build a bonfire
167. Make an appointment
168. Pay rent
169. Go outside whenever you wish
170. Go horseback riding
171. Take a cruise
172. Have a barbeque
173. Go to a barbeque
174. Say what you think
175. Eat what you want
176. Eat when you want
177. Express yourself
178. Sue (somebody)
179. Study anything you find interesting
180. E-mail friends
181. Establish a website or weblog
182. Be a backseat driver
183. Invest
184. Call (by dialing, not collect)
185. Make your own chili
186. Shop at Trader Joe's
187. Shop at Home Depot
188. Stay up all night and sleep all day
189. Sleep well most nights
190. Get married without permission
191. Get divorced without permission
192. Collect Social Security benefits
193. Collect retirement benefits
194. Collect any benefits
195. Go to Rite Aide to fill a prescription
196. Volunteer for the military
197. Be a radio call-in
198. Serve on a jury
199. Have a library card
200. Get cosmetic surgery
201. Own a designer anything
202. Start a 501 (c) corporation
203. Start any type of corporation
204. Start any type of business
205. Visit Santa
206. Brew coffee
207. Use real sugar
208. Cook with real butter
209. Chew gum
210. Use Viagra ®
211. Get Botox ®
212. Sit on the toilet as long as you like
213. Hang clothes on wire hangers
214. Hang clothes in a closet
215. Use an electric toothbrush
216. Write with an "ink" pen
217. Pay bills
218. Pay bills online
219. Make love in private
220. Own golf clubs
221. Golf
222. Sleep under a down comforter
223. Plant your feet on a rug
224. Call 9-1-1
225. Rent a video
226. Relax on the front/back porch
227. Eat leftovers from the frig
228. Go dancing
229. Pursue the American Dream
230. Exercise your Constitutional Rights
231. Make a conference call
232. Switch channels on TV
233. Go to the beach
234. Carry a backpack
235. Buy a ticket
236. Confirm a reservation
237. Visit a professional barber/beauty shop
238. Drink bottled water
239. Drink a sparkling beverage
240. Go to a nightclub
241. Go to a concert
242. Truly just "hang out"
243. Donate clothes to the homeless
244. Put a stamp on an envelope
245. Use a professional delivery service
246. Order from Home Shopping Club
247. Buy wholesale
248. Go camping
249. Have an air purifier
250. Order something online
251. Turn off the lights
252. Take a mom to dinner on Mother's Day
253. Take the kids to Magic Mountain
254. Take the kids anywhere
255. Get a professional pedicure
256. Thumb through the Yellow Pages
257. Become a game show contestant
258. Earn a living wage
259. Buy a Christmas tree
260. Sleep in a king or queen size bed
261. Have the newspaper home delivered
262. Leave town
263. Leave the dishes
264. Build a fire in the fireplace
265. Set the alarm clock
266. Eat a Hershey Bar ®
267. Walk down the street
268. Visit a zoo
269. Kiss your kids good morning
270. Kiss your kids good night
271. Have art supplies
272. Roller blade
273. Send a fax
274. Receive a phone call
275. Breathe fresh air
276. Watch hummingbirds feed
277. Own an electric razor
278. Hear birds chirping
279. Follow a butterfly's flight
280. Maintain oral hygiene
281. Use dental floss
282. Eat a pizza
283. Eat a box of butter-flavored popcorn
284. Watch cable TV
285. Work in your own garden
286. Shower morning, noon or night
287. Keep nail clippers
288. Use roach spray
289. Use insect repellant
290. Use aerosol cans
291. Have foot powder
292. Wear cologne
293. Use spray cans
294. Recycle aluminum
295. Iron your clothes
296. Wear color socks
297. Cash in coupons
298. Take advantage of discounts
299. Drink whole milk
300. Have batteries
301. Climb a tree
302. Use air freshener
303. Watch a whole movie uninterrupted
304. Buy a book
305. Buy a magazine
306. Buy a newspaper
307. Carve a turkey
308. Call the plumber
309. Use a credit card
310. Go to the ATM
311. Hold cash
312. Frame art for your walls
313. Order a cocktail
314. Get dressed up for dinner
315. Call 800 phone numbers
316. Get a facial
317. Go to a spa
318. Play video games
319. Buy life insurance
320. Sing Karaoke
321. Go trick-or-treating on Halloween
322. Go Christmas caroling
323. Own a flashlight
324. Shoot pool
325. Wear wire-rimmed glasses
326. Work on a political campaign
327. Make eggnog
328. Spike the eggnog
329. Drink eggnog
330. Keep cough medicine
331. Eat a three-egg omelet
332. Open a can with a can opener
333. Play computer solitaire
334. Have potted plants
335. Get named-brands from vending machines
336. Own tweezers
337. Hold scissors
338. Stay warm through the winter
339. Use suntan oil in the summer
340. Go to the beach
341. Hear a wooden door open and close
342. Hear the rain on your roof
343. Wear a bathrobe
344. Wear cloth slippers
345. Purchase a new mattress
346. Go to a bookstore
347. Make sugar cookies
348. Create a sculpture
349. Have friends of all nationalities, from all cultures
350. Vacuum your rug
351. Own a rug
352. Put up curtains
353. Light incense
354. Light a candle
355. Wear a watch
356. Wear a belt
357. Wear a colored t-shirt
358. Attend all the baptisms, quincineras, weddings and funerals you care to
359. Visit a loved ones resting place
360. Own a camera
361. Pet a dog
362. Turn off the TV
363. Trust someone
364. Live shackle-free
365. GO HOME!

© Valerie Shaw 2005 All Rights Reserved

All contents are the exclusive rights of the author and may not be copied, excerpted, nor duplicated without the expressed written permission of the author. For questions regarding duplication of this work, send email to author.


Prision Blues Articles
Horrifying
California Statistics

In California in the
last 10 years:

_________________

20 prisons built
______________

1 state university campus
and 1University of California campus built.
________________

26,000 jobs added to vari
ous state corrections departments
_________________

8,000 jobs lost in higher education.
_________________

Department of Corrections operating budget increased 14%/year
_________________

Whole state budget
increased 7%/year.

_________________

In 1985 there were 7,570 prison guards; in 1990 there were 14,249; in 1994 there were 25,547.
_________________

The yearly salary for a prison guard with 6 years experience is higher than for a starting tenured associate professor at University of California.


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